I’ve been providing you guys with info on chakras, crystals, meditation, and yoga but I haven’t explained why I decided to explore these options.
I’ve always struggled with anxiety and had a lot of other issues with myself. I struggled with self-confidence, not really knowing who I am or my purpose in life. For a long time I allowed my past to control my life. The things I went through growing up and how some of those issues carried over into my adulthood.
I’ve always been a spiritual person, I completely trust in the Lord but it took me having my last child to really wake up and see what He is capable of doing. How sometimes He has to take you through some dark stuff for you to wake up and realize you need Him and you need to change.
6 years ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy but what we didn’t know is that he would be born with his intestines outside his body. This was something I wasn’t expecting, I’d gave birth to two health babies prior to him, so I was in complete shock.
We stayed in the NICU for 6 months and during that time I never got to hold him. During about the 3rd month there things took a turn for the worst and his intestines, kidneys, liver, heart and lungs began to fail. He got so swollen from fluid build up they had to put him on a machine that is very dangerous called ECMO. The moment that completely changed me as a person was when they pronounced him dead and gave me his time of death and explained that they would cover funeral cost. I went completely numb. I started screaming and yelling and this felt like an eternity, but not even 3 minutes after them giving me his time of death and unhooking him from the machines, he made this loud grasp and his eyes popped open.
As I’m typing this now, there are no words that I can use to describe how I felt at that moment. My son was dead, do you understand this, he was declared dead, yet there he was breathing with his eyes open. We stayed at Vanderbilt for a total of 9 months before we were able to go home and that was the best day of my life.
Now where does the yoga, chakra and meditation come into play in all of this.
Those 9 months in the hospital, alone watching my baby go through this changed me. I became overwhelmed and didn’t know what I was doing and even if I could take care of him. I was stressed and depressed but keep it all to myself.
One day I was doing research on ways to help with anxiety and that’s when I came across yoga. Yoga started to help me with balance & patience. If you practice yoga, then you know that certain poses can be hardcore and you have to learn to focus on your breath and not the pain. Meditation taught me to calm my mind. When I meditate and my mind wanders off to something negative, like something from my past, if I had a bad day or anything in general, meditation has allowed me to learn to accept those thoughts and the feelings that come with them but after accepting it, let it go, it has no control over you unless you allow it. It has helped me finally understand and know who I am. Once you learn to silence your mind, you discover things about yourself. Through meditation I learned about chakras and how they are supposed to be balanced so you can be at peace with yourself and the universe. Then I started learning about the sage, crystals, stones and other stuff that assists with all of this and it has made me a more calm person.
I still have my days where I struggle with anxiety and get overwhelmed, especially with having 3 kids. My youngest still has ups and downs with his health and has a feeding tube, but now when I have those bad days, I know how to make it positive again. I no longer allow my mind to control me. I’ve learned to accept whatever life throws at me because now I’m better equipped to handle those pressures and overcome.
Well, I just wanted to give you all a little info on me and what led me to this lifestyle. So I hope that this helps someone and if you have any questions please feel free to contact me.