What I noticed going through my journey of healing, was that I didn’t have to be ashamed of my past. No matter how grimy and dirty it was there was no reason to be ashamed.
Now, this took me a while to understand and apply to my life. I was so ashamed of the things that I did, I didn’t feel that I was worthy of happiness or success. I didn’t feel I was worthy of having true love or loving myself. I allowed my past to keep me stuck. I had trained my mind to believe that because of who I used to be, I would never amount to anything. Then I had my last child of 3 and that’s when it all changed.
My son was born with a lot of health problems and died for 3 minutes. Now, when you hear the doctor give you your child’s time of death and they’re explaining how the hospital will cover funeral arrangements, it changes you. Those 3 minutes felt like an eternity but all of a sudden we hear a gasp and the machines start to go off and my baby has come back to life. We had a long journey being in the hospital for a year and still have our ups and downs but God!!! God has got us through.
The reason I tell this story is because I feel that God wants me to tell my story and not be ashamed. For a long time, I felt that my past was the reason my child went through so much. I felt that all the bad that I had done God needed to get my attention and slow me down.
I’ve done wrong, I’ve been addicted to pills, I haven’t always been the best mother, I used sex as a way to feel a void due to being molested at 13 and not being shown the proper way a man is supposed to love you. I didn’t have a real father figure or male figure in my life, so it made me defensive. I wouldn’t allow myself to have emotions, because with emotions come feelings, and mine always seemed to get hurt, so I became emotionless and it caused a lot of problems in my life.
It took me years to admit this to myself but I had to, I couldn’t let my past keep controlling me. I had to forgive myself and let go.
My faith and my trust in God is what got me through that difficult time, but I wanted to get more spiritual and get to know myself, my true self, so I started learning about yoga, which lead me to meditation and then chakra healing and I started to see a change within myself that I liked.
Yoga taught me balance and perfection doesn’t matter. It helped me to push myself but know my limitations. Meditation has taught me that thoughts are just that, wandering thoughts. It’s taught me to not worry so much about the past just to focus on the present moment. Healing my chakras has given me my voice and not being afraid of speaking my truth.
This is why I started SimplyVeii, so I can reach and help others who may be feeling like they have no one to relate to and how to overcome, this is why I’m here, I want to help you see that no matter what your past is like you can overcome. I want to show you the skills and tools I’ve learned that helped me get through. Understand that you will stay have bad days but now you will have the skills and tools to help you change your mindset.
Feel free to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org with any questions. This is a nonjudgmental zone when you come here because NOBODY is perfect.
I leave you with love, peace, and positivity. Namaste!