Putting Myself First and Not being Ashamed

For so long I have put other feelings and their views of me first, I wanted to please everyone, I wanted to be accepted by others and it caused me to lose myself. Over the years, I have come to not care of what others think of me and finally putting myself first. It took a while to overcome the shame I felt when I started to put myself first because I was always told when I tried to that I was selfish and when you are young and this is being embedded in your head, you carry that with you.

It took a lot of praying, meditation, and self-healing to remove that thinking from my subconscious mind. I had to isolate myself from certain individuals to gain my strength and understand that I can say no to things that I don’t want to do, learning and loving who I am, and finally know my worth. I had to understand that it’s ok to put my needs first and take care of me. That it’s ok if someone doesn’t agree with or like what I do, we can both respect each other’s boundaries.

I had to learn to love myself and believe in myself. I had to realize that not everyone will support my decisions and that’s ok, because we are entitled to our own opinions, but I had to let go of worrying about those opinions. I had to live for me because I have 3 children who depend on me and after God, they matter the most.

It took me a while to get here and I still have my days but what I will not do is allow for someone to come into my life and try to have me second guess myself. I have overcome so much and it took so many years for me to change my mind frame, love myself, accept myself, and realize I am a good person with a good heart. So when someone thinks they are going to come into my life and try to make me question whether I’m a good person based on how they want me to be, I will not allow it.

I have conformed to people’s expectations of me for years and I will no longer tolerate it. I will not allow myself to feel like I’m toxic because I don’t do things how a person expects. I will not give up on myself and my dreams to make one feel happy with themselves, because that is truly selfish.

I will not be ashamed of being me and putting my needs first. No one should have to endure something like that because it is an insult to your journey, so release that shit and move on.

Put you first and be happy. Never be ashamed of choosing you!

I leave you with love, peace, happiness, and positivity. Namaste

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