According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, lust is a strong feeling of sexual desire or a strong desire for something. Love is described as having a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person and an unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.
Now, this is me being 100 with you, it took me a while to distinguish the two. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who has had this issue. Every since I was 13 I had grown men lust after me and they were willing to do anything to get me because I was a sexual desire to them. I had money, clothes, shoes, you name it, whatever a teen girl desires but in my mind, I thought they cared about me, I believed that they loved me.
I was really never shown how a man is to really love a woman, so this is all I knew. This followed me into my adulthood as well. Men lusting after me, only wanting to fulfill their sexual fantasies with me because of my outer appearance and never getting to know me. Using me when they needed to fulfill that desire that only I could give them and me being ok with it because at this point I have detached myself from all emotions, so in my mind everything is fine.
As I started to get older, I realized that I was subconsciously suppressing my feelings in order to allow myself to not get hurt. Love is when you can be yourself around your partner, love is something that is shared, love is gentle, love is patient, love is wanting to give your all because you know you will receive the same in return. Love is beautiful and we should all experience and have love.
I experienced love once and it made me nervous. I was used to men wanting me sexually, so when I decided to actually get in a real relationship, it threw me for a loop when sex was never mentioned. This man wanted to know me, my interests, my hobbies, my goals, and whatever else I was willing to share. He was patient with me because he knew that I was on the journey to discovering who I was and he was willing to help me through it. He practiced yoga with me, meditated, learned about chakra healing, crystals, and everything else I was interested in. He never judged me or condemned me for my past but tried to help me see that I was worthy to be loved. If I felt like giving up, he pushed me because he loved me enough to see my potential when at the time, I didn’t see it in myself. When I was with him I could let down the wall that I had built up for so many years, I was able to be at peace with him and not feel like I was being used.
I know what you are thinking, if you found somebody that good why did it end? Well, like I previously stated, I was just starting my journey to self-healing and I was nervous. I was nervous because I didn’t want to mess this up. I wasn’t used to someone treating me that way and it was very hard for me to show emotions at that time. Yes, I let my wall down with him but I was always on guard. I didn’t feel he deserved to be treated that way, he needed someone who could give him the same love that he gave and I wasn’t that person at the time. We agreed to end on good terms and if it’s meant to be we would find a way back to each other. Now, this is love, understanding that I needed to grow, find myself, and learn to love myself so I can properly love others.
I’m grateful that God sent that man into my life to help me understand that what I had been experiencing was lust not love, now I know how to love myself and not be used, and finally know my worth.
Learn how to tell the difference between lust and love, because with the right person you can get confused. Even the devil can disguise a blessing, so I want you to know that being lusted after is nothing to be praised for. Find true love, it is so much better.
I leave you with love, peace, happiness, and positivity. Namaste