It is a fact that In contemporary world, women tend to rule more and more. We have everything for it but lots of our precious qualities are hidden inside and covered by the external influences. Shakuntali Siberia, Enlightened woman, Doctor of Psychology, founder of the International Academy of working with subconscious “Gyud”, tells us how to develop self-confidence and power that are slumbering inside each woman.
Self-confident person – who is that? Someone who knows exactly what he/she needs to be happy and who is free enough to achieve that. So, a free and a happy one. We all are born very self-confident, free and with the knowledge that we can rule this world. But the pressure that we experience just right after we land here, take this self-confidence away. It may be caused by the realities and routine of our life or sometimes even by our parents – it doesn’t matter. Anyway, the effects are really devastating.
A little bit of Shakuntali Siberia experience – a striking illustration.
I was born with understanding who I am and what I should do in this life. I knew exactly that my predestination and benefit to other people was healing, so I tried to heal and convince people to change something in this life. Imagine me, 9-years-old-girl, trying to explain to my mother’s friend that she is in a pre-cancer state of health and that she must rush urgently to change something in her life to avoid the disease. Very funny, of course. But that was what I really KNEW about them, so I tried to help them from all my heart. And they saw me like a silly girl having watched soap operas too much. Eventually, they started being annoyed and finally concluded that I was crazy. All this doesn’t inspire confidence, does it?
Regaining your self-confidence back.
The only way to come back to nature and regain your self-confidence is to get rid of the external influence. As for me, I had to leave my home for good. Throughout the next years, I have had to learn lots of things, and I was lucky enough to have the best tutors you could imagine. Speaking about earning your natural confidence back, I have learned by heart the following plain tricks that I am gladly sharing with you now.
1. Use your “disadvantages” as advantages. Many of us are unhappy about something in our appearance. Ironically, it often happens that something that we have a great deal about, occurs to be utterly invisible to the others. Anyway, the trick is not to hide from the others what you desperately want to hide. This will lead you to freedom.
2. Do not try to be nice to everybody. Oh, this childish desire to please everyone, trying to prove something to everybody. Stop. This is useless and ruins your life and you as a person. For your wellbeing’s sake, you must learn how to tell NO.
3. Feel the strength and freedom inside to accept NO. Sometimes it is scary, isn’t it? All you need to learn here is that “No” doesn’t have anything with you, it is just a mindset and – sometimes – a problem of your opponent. You should never take it personally.
4. Compare yourself only with former yourself. Say “No” to any comparisons with other people. You do not know their life, their circumstances, their starting point, their way of thinking. All you should always look at – at yourself moving forward and earning your own happiness and success.
5. Once you have chosen something, any doubts – back off! You know yourself, you know your way – do not let the others, even the beloved ones, to interfere and turn you off your road.
6. If you need help – ask for it! You do not have to know everything, nobody does. There is no shame to ask for help. On the contrary, asking for help tells about you as of a very mature and confident person.
7. Your interest is the priority. It is not about being selfish, it is about not to skip your Bali vacation because of doing your colleagues’ work up to 3 a.m.
8. Feel the gratitude, no matter what happens. No event in our life is a positive or negative one. It is us who make it negative and positive. Try to find positiveness in everything that you face. Sometimes it is hard but still possible.
Being confident is being yourself.
This is the incomparable happiness – to be yourself. To face the world head-on, not to be afraid to hurt somebody by a refuse or just by being who you really are. And that doesn’t mean you should become selfish and do not care about the others. It is about becoming happy. And make the others around you a little happier too.~Natalie Baker